Space Precinct – 12. Divided We Stand

What an interesting episode of Space Precinct we have here. Everything but the kitchen sink has been chucked at Divided We Stand. The story twists and turns through so many events and themes and characters that it felt like it would just keep going. The episode could have been a straightforward political thriller, but tries very hard to offer more than that by layering in a fall from grace for our heroes, a baby-snatching subplot, and some hard sci-fi business about cloning. The shocking pivots this story took were genuinely surprising to me. For better or worse, I couldn’t have predicted where Divided We Stand was going to end up.

It would seem that the production of this episode was also a roller coaster. The script’s original title was Mob Wars, then it became Carbon Copy during production, and finally Divided We Stand during post-production. Though the principal shoot was presided over by Alan Birkinshaw, it appears that extensive additional shoots were required under John Glen’s direction during the production of Takeover. Birkinshaw never returned to the series. It would seem there’s a little bit of Frankenstein in both the plot and the production history of Divided We Stand.

Slan Nuri from Seek and Destroy has taken up the “impressive alien” slot in the opening titles for this week. Bit of an odd choice. He’s creepy but not necessarily the most remarkable of Neill Gorton’s prosthetic creations.

The super-duper speedy ‘This Episode’ teaser can’t hope to get across all the weird and wonderful places we’re going today, but it has a darn good try.

Divided We Stand is a better title for this particular story than Mob Wars or Carbon Copy because it leaves a touch of mystery in the air, referencing the episode’s twist without being too obvious. It’s a reversal of the common saying, “United we stand, divided we fall.” I’ve only found this to be true in certain circumstances. If too many people unite on a bouncy castle, you’re more likely to fall – and that’s a fact.

What we have here is a pretty nice combination of the live action and model sets, but it does call the scale of the vehicles into question a little bit. The police cruiser looks to be about the same size as the party headquarters.

Oooh, how lovely, someone brought baked goods to this party.

Is this one of those hyper realistic cakes and we’re all supposed to guess whether it actually is cake or not?

“This takes the cake, Brogan,” is Haldane’s first line. Needless to say the police aren’t doing so hot at ascertaining whether the cakes being taken are, or are not, actually cakes. As you can see, campaign messaging for some sort of election adorn the walls. “Vote With Pride” is the slogan and “Vinny” is the candidate, but it’s the undesirable shade of snot green that they’ve chosen for their branding that I take issue with.

Officer Haldane is not a happy bunny today, and he’s good enough to explain why in lengthy detail so we can get up to speed on today’s plot. Vinny Artak is running for city council, complete with his track record for illegal immigration, cyber-piracy and interspecies porn. Yes, you heard that right. This week, Space Precinct is wasting no time alienating its intended audience and horrifying parents everywhere. But Haldane is on the side of those horrified parents. He ain’t got no time for interspecies porn! He’s a simple lad, and he doesn’t approve of Vinny one little bit. Brogan, on the other hand, is a professional and simply tolerates the situation with his trademark stoicism, trusting that the media will do their job and expose Vinny one way or another.

Vinny Artak arrives backstage with his girlfriend, Vacua Taz. Brogan and Haldane observe. Those stairs have presumably brought them down from the roof since the exterior of the building was clearly established with no upper floor.

Hold everything – Vinny’s hungry. He whips out an apple and a mini light saber and goes to town. It’s meant to establish the fact that Vinny carries a weapon, but all it really proves is that it’s a real challenge for actors to eat while wearing those masks.

Vinny throws the rest of the apple away. Haldane despises littering and can barely contain his fury.

When Vacua disobeys Vinny, he hits her. Haldane goes to respond to the crime but Brogan holds him back. Not exactly Brogan’s finest hour. It really doesn’t fit with Brogan’s character to stand back and let something like that happen. Sure, he knows how to toe the line and act with restraint, but he’s not the sort to witness a crime and do nothing just because someone’s vaguely important. Incidentally, there’s a suspicious white splatter mark on the wall behind Vacua which I suspect is a genuine mistake left behind by the set decorators.

Rather than arresting the horrible twerp for assault, the officers fix him with disapproving looks.

Vinny addresses the thronging crowd… well, let me rephrase that… Vinny addresses some people. It’s the usual swarm of extras dressed up in unflattering costumes, garish hair dye and scribbled-on face tattoos. Vinny Artak is played by David Quilter, who usually plays the regular role of Sergeant Fredo. Unlike Richard James, who also played a number of guest characters in addition to Officer Orrin, David Quilter was able to negotiate a separate contract and an extra paycheck for his additional role as Vinny. His portrayal borrows a little from Marlon Brando’s performance in The Godfather. With the benefit of hindsight, one can also see a certain political figure with criminal convictions from today reflected in David Quilter’s performance. In that regard, I desperately want the ground to swallow me up while Vinny celebrates a rise in the polls despite attacks on his character.

The officers aren’t impressed by the overblown theatre of it all.

Kate Beckett (Jenny Swift from Brookside) plays a reporter who asks Vinny directly about his alleged connections to the Creon criminal underworld. His response? There is no Creon criminal underworld!

Our two police officers seem reasonably confident that there actually is a Creon criminal underworld. Could it be that our political candidate is lying?

Vinny then asserts that politicians and the corrupt police need to jolly well accept that there is no Creon criminal underworld and trust that Vinny is just a regular guy determined to start “kicking lazy bureaucrats’ butts!” It’s truly haunting the way this kind of rhetoric predicted the future. Needless to say, this episode’s writer, Arthur Sellers, has made his opinion on today’s political administration quite public.

The crowd love it. Sorry, let me correct that. We see a few people that love it.

Then, there’s an assassination attempt. I swear this was written in 1994, not 2024.

The camera operator is remarkably uninterested by the whole thing. The reporter looks like she’s just been handed a cold cheeseburger.

Now Vacua gives us the kind of reaction we’re after.

Brogan and Haldane didn’t respond anywhere near fast enough to deal with the situation. Both of them guarding the back of the room rather than the stage itself was probably an oversight. The assassin holds Vacua at gunpoint because apparently her day wasn’t going badly enough already.

The assassin attempts to flee, but one of our heroes has a cunning plan. In order to take up a better position, Haldane rattles off a speech praising the shooter for his efforts, arguing that he’s done the city a favour by ridding Demeter of another corrupt official. It’s a novel approach, I’ll give him that.

The lads seize their opportunity and apprehend the shooter. Better late than never.

The incredible actor Suzanne Bertish is criminally underused in this episode playing Regina Baylek. There’s a nice twist for her character at the end, but she doesn’t get to do or say much for most of the runtime.

Vinny is unceremoniously dragged off to his “private medical facility.” His posse exits through the front doors, even though their vehicle is probably parked on the roof as established at the beginning. Anyway, Brogan gives us a quick “I love this job,” which is really quite half-hearted and not the best use of the catchphrase we’ve heard so far.

The action moves to the station house and Fredo reads a statement to the press. I would have considered that a duty for Captain Podly, but I guess if you’re paying David Quilter double to appear in the episode, you’re going to put both of his characters to good use!

The Forensic who was last seen in Seek and Destroy is now responsible for figuring out the identity of the uncooperative shooter. They perform a retinal scan, which is a really good opportunity to appreciate the amount of detail which went into creating all of the alien eyeballs for the series.

The scan suggests a clean record with no previous arrests, much to Brogan’s annoyance.

Fredo arrives to summon Brogan on behalf of Captain Podly. They should just rename this episode The David Quilter Show. Before he leaves, Brogan suggests running a DNA scan on the shooter to get his birth record and name. It’s not exactly an exciting mystery.

Elsewhere, Haldane and Castle are working together quite happily without any bickering or kissing this week.

They read up on Vinny’s personal physician, Dr. Lazlo Kyte. The actor playing Kyte, Christopher Baines, just about manages to avoid throwing up as he slowly spins around, but he’s probably having to concentrate quite hard. Vinny’s full name is revealed to be ‘Vintul’ and apparently Dr. Kyte looks after his “creonatomy” exclusively.

Castle describes her colleague’s stunt as “crazy, irresponsible… and pretty damn brilliant.” It’s an odd compliment to hear coming from No-Hassle Castle. It would make more sense if Simone Bendix delivered the line a little more begrudgingly, as if she doesn’t want to praise Haldane for his reckless heroics. Instead she almost seems to be boosting Haldane’s ego, something Castle has been keen to avoid in the past because it’s not like Haldane’s ego has ever needed much encouragement!

Even Jack is caught off-guard by the declaration of his brilliance. So, maybe that’s the whole point. Maybe Jane’s trying to keep him on his toes. It would be good payback for insulting her professionalism at the end of last week’s episode.

Fredo’s back again!! The camera can’t get enough of this guy!

Up in Podly’s office, Haldane’s in hot water after his little improv stint made the news. Podly reels off the list of unhappy political offices who might have been a tad sensitive to the accusations of corruption. Although Podly appreciates Haldane’s words were merely meant as a distraction, it would seem that the officer’s performance was too darn convincing.

Haldane offers to explain himself publicly, which quickly turns into Podly forcing him to make a full-blown apology on live television. Jack isn’t best pleased. After all, he’s a simple country boy with a fondness for hot dogs and catching bad guys. He’s not one for making fancy speeches.

Meanwhile, Castle and Took arrive at Demeter Memorial Hospital. This is not the same hospital which Sally Brogan was shown working at last week in Illegal – that was Demeter City Hospital. The building we’re looking at here matches the hospital we saw in Time To Kill.

The officers are responding to the disappearance of a Tarn egg sac from the maternity incubators. All the way back in Double Duty, Sally mentioned that Inazy’s parents tended egg incubators in a Caruthian commune, but heaven knows if that had any relation to this. Anyway, the parents are quite upset that their egg sac has been stolen, to the point that Took and Castle find that an entire ruddy sofa has been upturned while a mother sobs quietly. To be fair, it’s quite an ugly sofa… which is usually seen in the Brogans’ living room.

Castle quickly studies a Tarn Egg Development diagram on the wall, just so she doesn’t feel totally out of her depth in this situation. Considering just how much of Space Precinct’s world-building feels half-baked, a crazy amount of effort has gone into making the Tarns in particular feel like a totally credible alien species. I never would have expected the reproductive process of Tarns to become a sticking point in the plot of an episode, but here we are.

The enraged father, played by Wayne Forester, pops out from behind the furniture and chooses to lunge at the officers with a nondescript piece of medical equipment. The actors are trying ever so hard to play the serious gravity of the situation. Alas, I don’t think we quite get to the rawness of the matter. A parent having their baby stolen is a very heavy topic, and Space Precinct was hardly the best platform to explore the scenario’s dramatic potential.

Tarn to Tarn, Took is able to telepathically link with the distraught Mr. Dodvek and reassure him that they’re going to try and track down the stolen egg sac.

The two sobbing parents comfort one another and it looks like Castle and Took have a pretty serious case on their hands. Now then, we’re halfway through the series so I’d like to argue that I’m familiar with the standard structure of Space Precinct episodes by now. Generally speaking, subplots like these which seem to have nothing to do with the main story are exactly that – totally irrelevant side quests which fill up the runtime and keep surplus cast members busy. Alas, they tend to be Castle and Took’s bread and butter. So, that’s exactly what I was expecting when I watched Divided We Stand for the first time. I was baffled that so much emotional weight was being chucked behind a subplot which would ultimately lead nowhere. Well, we’ll discover later how foolish I was to underestimate this particular script.

We head back to the station house for another scene in the lab. It’s revealed that the assassin, named Junna Kazar, was in fact a childhood friend of Vinny’s and that Vinny is even godfather to Junna’s kids. I don’t think we’re supposed to think too hard about how the concept of a godfather even translates over to Altor, and should just take it as another nod towards the mob and The Godfather. Junna announces that nobody paid him to kill Vinny and that he did it because, “Vinny’s like a brother to me! I love him!”

Yup. Bit weird.

Back at Demeter Memorial, a hospital administrator played by Dominic Letts explains that whoever stole the egg sac must have had a portable incubator, and that security was on high alert because two other egg sacs were snatched from County General last month. Yes, County General would be a third hospital in the Demeter area to put on your list. But the point is that we’re dealing with a pretty serious baby-snatcher, not some common-or-garden amateur cradle robber.

Castle and Took get the opportunity to gawp at an egg that’s close to hatching. They have to make it really obvious that it’s something they find cute in order to get the audience on board. The actual prop looks like a blob of frozen marrow bone jelly – realistic but hardly adorable.

A police cruiser emerges from the station house… probably popping to the shops to buy milk.

Nah, it’s actually Brogan and Haldane heading back to the headquarters of the Pride Party. Considering the enormous skyscrapers that dominate Demeter City, it really is quite odd that the political headquarters of a prominent figure like Vinny Artak occupies a modest, single-storey building.

The small gathering of volunteers and media just seem to be hanging around the office watching the news, proving that there is absolutely nothing better to do in Demeter City.

Regina Baylek has quite a bone to pick with the officers who failed to protect her city council candidate. Suzanne Bertish has been trusted to provide her own American accent for the character rather than suffering through a re-voicing. Haldane insists that they’ve been summoned for a meeting by Vinny’s physician, Dr. Kyte.

Just like that, Vinny arrives in a wheelchair. He orders the crowd to make room… even though there’s not much of a crowd getting in his way. Vinny seems basically fine, and even his suit is unmarked by the gunshot wounds.

The supporters are pleased to have Vinny back. Some of their reactions have been slowed down in post-production because Space Precinct just can’t resist looking really janky from time to time.

Haldane enjoys a spot of sarcastic slow clapping while pointing out the absurdity of Vinny’s brush with death. Vinny takes the opportunity, in front of the TV camera and one particularly panicked reporter, to call out the police’s failure to protect him.

Brogan and Haldane struggle to get their point across before Regina declares that Vinny is “blast-proof,” as if that somehow qualifies him for high office. The crowd begin chanting and Vinny soaks up the adoration. There’s clearly something fishy afoot.

The Brogan kids are hooked on the media frenzy surrounding Vinny Artak’s miraculous survival, taking it at face value. Ugh. This episode is so relentlessly keen on reflecting the real world and should be praised for it, but boy is it depressing.

Of course, we’re all now very aware that Sally Brogan is a medical professional so her husband has called her up for a work-related question. We’ve had a Tarn biology lesson so now it’s time for something similar related to “creonatomy.” Highlights on the diagram include a primary heart plus two more secondary hearts, multiple livers, and a “Medullaman Oblongataious (Brain)” stashed in the torso rather than the head. In Sally’s expert opinion, the shots fired at Vinny could have theoretically missed all of those densely packed vital organs and enabled him to survive the assassination, but it doesn’t seem very likely.

Matt and Liz are convinced that Vinny’s a stand-up fellow. After all, Matt points out that he’s never been convicted of anything. Yeah, remember when it actually mattered whether politicians had criminal convictions or not? Simpler times. Meanwhile, Liz is keen to point out that Vinny gives all his money to children’s hospitals. Oh Liz, let’s not even go there.

Brogan’s call is interrupted when Junna is brought into the main office by the star of the show, Sergeant Fredo. Vinny’s posted bail on behalf of his would-be assassin and Haldane quite rightly points out how incredibly suspicious that is.

“You dunno nothin’ about Vinny and me!” Junna warns. The lads are deflated by the blatant trickery that’s at play. I must say I’m reasonably invested in the mystery. The “why” part of the fake assassination is pretty evident, but the “how” is still up for grabs.

Demeter City at night continues to impress. Between the wide shot and the close-up of the landing pad an attempt has been made to shuffle the buildings around to suggest a different perspective.

Vinny’s motorised wheelchair isn’t exactly a futuristic contraption, nor is his apartment particularly lavish. You could mistake this for your nan’s front room.

Junna is shocked to see that he’s put his old friend in a wheelchair, but Vinny insists that it’s all for show and that he “likes the wheels.” Vacua smiles and/or grimaces as she continues to tolerate the creep.

Vinny embraces Junna and sympathises with how hard it must have been to go through with the shooting. Vinny doesn’t even bother to conceal his laser knife, so we know something messy is about to happen.

If you care to consult your Creon medical diagram from earlier, I believe Vinny’s aiming for one of the secondary hearts.

Vinny chats to himself in the mirror for reasons that are both necessary to the plot and totally in keeping with his self-absorbed character. He mockingly justifies murdering his friend because Junna tried to kill him, regardless of the fact it was Vinny that paid him to do it. The long and short of it is that Vinny is a sick twerp.

Vacua is horrified but not exactly surprised by this turn of events.

Meanwhile, a TV crew is on its way to the 88th. You can tell it’s a TV crew because they have the letters ‘TV’ plastered across the side of their ship and nothing else. They don’t represent any particular network, just all of TV.

Haldane is issuing his statement to the media, apologising for his actions and assuring everyone that his words were meant only as a distraction. It’s short but sweet. He’s surrounded by his fellow officers for moral support… and because Fredo can’t get enough screen time this week.

The snarky reporter essentially disregards the whole statement and asks Haldane whether his views about crooked government officials are personal or representative of the whole 88th precinct. Despite his lack of media training, Haldane artfully dodges half of the question by insisting only that the opinions expressed are “not a matter of policy at the 88th.” After all, he’s still a man of principle.

The reporter is quick to jump on this, but Brogan shuts it down. Vinny is surprisingly enraged. I’m not sure why he cares so much about the opinion of two cops, but he sure doesn’t like them.

Inexplicably, Vinny’s TV remote has some kind of special button which digitally “smashes” the image with a laser noise when he turns the screen off. It’s a thoroughly odd moment, and basically just a setup for something that happens later.

Vacua announces that she’s been thinking and in Vinny’s mind that’s enough to warrant another round of physical abuse. This guy has a really, really short fuse. David Quilter’s hand doesn’t go anywhere near Alexa Rosewood’s face because both actors are masked up and wouldn’t have been able to see a darn thing.

Later that evening, Brogan and Haldane are back on another assignment. In the cruiser they watch an earlier call received from Vacua offering dirt on Vinny. To avoid confusing the audience, it’s conveyed that this is the PLAYBACK of a PRE-RECORDED MESSAGE which Haldane tells us was PHONED IN EARLIER.

END OF PRE-RECORDED MESSAGE. Have you got that? It’s almost odd just how much emphasis is placed on this being a pre-recorded conversation. I don’t have access to a shooting script to confirm this, but I suspect that the scene originally played out in two parts – firstly Vacua actually having the full-length call with Haldane at the station house, and then Brogan and Haldane flying out to the apartment while discussing the potential for a trap. To save time, I reckon the scene was reshot so that the full phone call could be cut and just the pertinent information retained. It’s only a theory, but it’s a densely packed story and those four days of additional filming might have been necessary to restructure scenes and get the runtime down.

So, having reviewed that pre-recorded call, Brogan suspects a trap. Haldane does too, but he can’t resist the opportunity to nail Vinny. Brogan looks at his colleague like he’s a complete imbecile for wearing his vendetta so proudly on his sleeve.

Brogan and Haldane walk into the apartment building, with Haldane saying, “it’s too bad Vinny’s gonna have to give all this up.” Sorry, are we all looking at the same bland section of corridor? Is this supposed to be luxury? I’ll wager that a jail cell is more interesting to look at than this.

Vacua is hesitant to answer the door because Vinny’s home…

… and he’s not exactly subtle.

This is super-duper nit-picky, but when Haldane fires his blaster to open the door, the super-imposed view screen jumps out of place for a frame or two. I don’t know how my wife puts up with me.

Otherwise, it’s your standard-issue Space Precinct door-opening procedure.

The lads are really worked up about this one.

Vinny pulls a weapon and appears to shoot Vacua right through her Dual Respiratory Tract… I’ve been checking my creonatomy diagram again.

Vinny turns on the two officers but they both open fire, even though only one blast is actually shown hitting him.

Vinny collapses, but Brogan and Haldane can’t admire their handiwork for too long because it turns out Vacua is up on her feet and declaring them murderers! Whaaa??!!

Poor Jack, he’s just a simple fellow and doesn’t quite understand what’s happening.

Vacua mourns Vinny’s death. When Haldane checks the “weapon” that Vinny used, it plays a blast sound effect without firing anything. It’s actually the TV remote thingy that he used earlier to “smash” the screen. That part is a tad convoluted, but it’s otherwise quite a good twist. As an audience we can immediately foresee how the media will spin this situation against the police. Ted Shackelford maybe lays it on a little thick with his delivery of, “Insanity,” but I don’t deny him the opportunity to ham up such a melodramatic line.

Some time passes. Orrin and Romek have come to attend the crime scene because, let’s face it, they needed something to do.

Vacua literally points the finger of blame at Brogan and Haldane. I know Vinny’s forced her into this, but she’s a little bit too committed to the performance given how unhappy she must be about the whole situation. I’d expect a character in her position to be more nervous about the way this is unfolding. The rather chipper investigator chatting to Brogan and Haldane seems to get a perverse pleasure out of telling them how much trouble they’re in.

Sure enough, Vacua’s on the news telling the whole story. Podly is surprisingly calm about the situation considering how bad it looks on paper. He’s receptive to the idea that Brogan and Haldane were set up, but doesn’t quite believe that Vinny would sacrifice his own life to take down a couple of cops. You’ve got to admit, he’s got a point. This is genuinely quite a good puzzle.

In the meantime, Podly is forced to follow procedure and take Brogan and Haldane off the case, confining them to desk duty. They’re tasked with assisting Castle and Took on their missing Tarn egg case which I guarantee you’d forgotten all about it.

Sure enough, we pick up that particular subplot where we left off. While the Vinny plot has been running at a billion miles an hour, Castle and Took have been taking things at a more leisurely pace. They’ve had no luck tracking down the parents of the twin egg sacs that were previously snatched from County General.

Castle is tired… at least that’s what Simone Bendix is trying to make us believe… she’s just not trying very hard.

Slomo arrives with some relevant paperwork. Sergeant-star-of-the-show-Fredo must have been busy. However, the crafty little devil also has a document to surreptitiously pass along to Brogan and Haldane…

“Lieutenant’s not gonna like that at all.” As long as Matt Brogan isn’t doing another tiresome school project on Greek theatre, I’m sure he won’t mind.

The news is that Vinny’s body has been stolen. Boy, these two are having a run of really bad luck today. It’s venturing towards farcical, but the script is smart enough to constantly remind us that this is all Vinny’s fabrication played out for the benefit of the media. The episode would be a lot more frustrating if the police were totally ignorant to the fact they’re being tricked. I refer you back to my old yard stick for quality, and that’s the gap between the audience’s knowledge of events versus that of the heroes. Right now it’s a pretty narrow gap, so we should therefore be just as invested in the mystery as Brogan and Haldane.

Case and point, we immediately reveal that the stolen body is back at Vinny’s apartment in the care of Dr. Kyte. Why it’s been stolen remains a satisfying mystery, but since the “who” part of it was blindingly obvious, the writer doesn’t insult our intelligence by holding back that information. The henchman carries Vinny’s body like it was made of fresh air and candy floss. They walk along like this is a matter of routine. The garish apartment decor is contrasted nicely with a clinical setting which is teased behind the purple door. We don’t get a good look – just enough to suggest something weird is going on.

Back home, Brogan is contemplating retiring to a farm. Oh I can totally picture that. Maybe it’s Ted Shackelford’s ties to the series Dallas, but I fully endorse the idea that Patrick Brogan would quite happily live out his older years running a small ranch. He’d definitely settle for a humble way of life rather than climbing the career ladder and becoming a crusty old police official stuck behind a desk. Meanwhile, Sally laughs and suggests getting another 20 years out of their careers first. There’s something odd about Nancy Paul’s performance in this episode. She doesn’t deliver the lines with much confidence, almost mumbling through them at times. Perhaps it’s just a naturalistic acting choice to match the somber mood that doesn’t quite come across. Or perhaps she wasn’t impressed with Sally getting yet another tiny role in this episode.

In Matt’s bedroom, the mood is also low and quiet. For homework, Matt is studying a creature that’s carrying implanted eggs for a different species. Let’s just say that’s a mighty convenient hint that’s been planted for later.

Brogan refers to his current situation at work as a “deep pile o’ manure” because I guess he’s still dreaming about that farm. Matt reveals a savage black eye and fat lip courtesy of some ardent Vinny Artak supporters at school. With the bravest of brave faces, Matt firmly states his belief that his father did nothing wrong. It’s genuinely quite moving, with Nic Klein succeeding in playing that loyal and vulnerable side of Matt that we’ve seen in episodes like Body & Soul. Hearing how the main plot is impacting Brogan’s kids may seem arbitrary and ripe for cutting, but it would be sad to lose performances that are this good.

Totally true to his character’s cheeky side, Matt tells us that the guy who tried to beat him up actually came off worse. And totally true to his character’s sense of fair play, Patrick can’t help but beam with pride.

We’re exactly halfway through the episode and it’s time for the big twist to be unveiled. Kyte double checks (for our benefit) that it’s definitely Vinny in the body bag before switching on his handy-dandy X12 Atomizer. Bang and Vinny’s gone! But why go to the effort of stealing Vinny’s body just to dispose of it?

Dr. Kyte announces that he likes playing god. Oh hurrah, he’s a complete nutter.

And who do we have stashed away in the wall?

Why, it’s another Vinny!

The new Vinny gets a silly green head band whacked over his dreadful haircut, followed by an injection of something blue. This is all deeply scientific stuff, of course.

The two men wait nervously for something to happen. Well, Dr. Kyte is waiting nervously anyway. Beardy man looks like he’s waiting for a bus.

Without any hesitation, the new Vinny strangles his doctor. The guy just can’t help himself. We can all be a bit cranky when we first wake up in the morning, so waking up from the dead must be quite a taxing experience. So, it looks like we’re dealing with a cloning situation here, with dead Vinnys getting replaced with duplicate Vinnys as needed – an identical concept to Dr. Tiger Ninestein, the hero of Gerry Anderson’s earlier series, Terrahawks.

Vinny’s limo heads straight for the station house so he can immediately start messing with people again.

The gang are chatting about the missing Tarn eggs, highlighting that precisely zero have been lost in the past decade, and suddenly three have disappeared in the space of a month. So, hang on a minute, if those twin eggs went missing from County General a month ago, and it was the first recorded case of egg snatching in a decade, why have the police only just started investigating now that a third one has gone missing? And if they were investigating the first two, how did they turn up absolutely no information after a whole month of investigation? Bit of a plot hole, but I suppose nothing too earth-shattering in the grand scheme of things.

But never mind all that because Vinny’s come to say hello.

Brogan and Haldane are rather surprised to see the guy they shot dead standing right in front of them. Again, our heroes are smart enough to immediately realise this can’t be the same Vinny. Unfortunately Haldane isn’t quite smart enough to figure out what’s really going on so his head explodes in a fit of rage and confusion.

Podly steps in and calms his officer down. There’s some blatant ADR going on to speed up the scene – we hold on a close-up of Vinny for slightly too long, allowing Podly to quickly explain that the “real” Vinny Artak is medically and legally dead according to DNA evidence.

Vinny spouts some nonsense to the press about seeing a golden light at the end of a long tunnel, and fighting off death so he could fulfill his destiny and serve the people of Demeter City. Remember that he’s just trying to run for a city council seat, not king of the whole ruddy universe.

Brogan tries to catch Vinny out by suggesting a retinal scan to prove his identity. Alas, you’re barking up the wrong tree there Brogan, but I’m glad you’re trying to think through the problem.

Later, a billboard floats around the city advertising a 1,000,000 credit reward for the safe return of the Tarn egg sac, courtesy of Vinny Artak. Gee, what a swell guy. Couldn’t possibly be a cover-up.

Party HQ is abuzz with activity… well, as much activity as there normally is. There’s champagne flowing which I guarantee isn’t anywhere close to being real champagne.

Here’s an odd moment. A new volunteer comes up to Vinny with abundant enthusiasm. She’s a bit strange but I suppose you’d have to be to support a weirdo like Vinny…

Oh wait, never mind, she’s been sent by the people that live in her head to protect the inter-dimensional messiah. Vinny’s attracted a fellow weirdo. Serves him right for talking rubbish.

The spirited enthusiast is dragged away, never to be seen again. Vinny says he’s “starting to attract crazies like a super nova,” which is a novel turn of phrase. Quite openly, without even lowering his voice, Vinny speaks to Dr. Kyte about ensuring another clone is ready to step in before things turn nasty. Yes, apparently Vinny now expects people to keep on trying to murder him, and that everyone will continue buying the fact he can’t die. He insists that the next clone be ready sooner than tomorrow morning, and that Dr. Kyte refer to him exclusively as “Mr. Artak.” Uh-oh, I think the wheels are starting to come off on the weirdo.

I don’t know who this guy is, but he looks cool.

Haldane is adjusting to his desk duties with characteristic dignity and maturity.

The cheeky chap just can’t stop himself and has Slomo delivering more secret memos full of information about “the bad guy.” Brogan’s not impressed but he’s not in a rush to stop it either.

Meanwhile, Brogan’s done the first decent piece of police work so far for the Tarn egg case. Dr. Lazlo Kyte recently bought a Tarn egg sac incubator. Now we’re cooking.

Haldane twigs that Vinny’s a Creon, not a Tarn. Unfortunately that’s as far as his inquisitive mind manages to take him today. Okay, maybe we’re not cooking yet.

Castle and Took arrive to summon Brogan and Haldane for their hearing with the review board. That seems like another Sergeant Fredo job, but I guess the star is above such things now.

This is the review board. Three out of four of them have moustaches so you know it’s serious. One of them wears sunglasses indoors though, so it’s obviously not that serious.

The inquiry hasn’t actually happened yet, but the lads are forced to turn over their shields and guns and take a suspension, pending the result. In fairness, Vinny not actually being dead probably muddled the investigation a bit.

So, Brogan heads for home. Sally isn’t best pleased that the DCPD would cast him aside, pointing out rather passive aggressively that her husband has given up more time to his work than he has for his own family. She starts to come around to the idea of the farm. Again, Nancy Paul’s delivery is incredibly low-energy and difficult to make out at times, like she’s doing the whole scene on Prozac. Alternatively, Sally may have just chilled out because the kitchen has finally been repainted and is now a much more subtle shade of yellow. Boy, am I glad to see that because that original lurid yellow paint was hideous. The dining room used to be white but has also been painted in pastel yellow to match the kitchen.

Matt, who I’m sure is equally thrilled by the new paintwork, comes in to announce that he got a B+ on his homework about the egg. Sally gives him a kiss so I guess a B+ is good for Matt.

Sure enough, Matt’s egg project gives Patrick an idea. As soon as he starts discussing serious medical theory with Sally, Nancy Paul lights up as if her character has finally been given something worthwhile to do. She explains that a Tarn egg sac could indeed be modified to act as a surrogate womb for a Creon. Patrick starts to suspect that’s been Vinny’s secret scheme for creating clones of himself. But, how does Vinny replicate his original mind into the new clone? Oof, more good questions! Every time a piece of this puzzle gets figured out, there’s always a new mystery to unpick. And I love that the story is slowly shifting away from political theatre to cutting edge sci-fi concepts without giving us all whiplash.

Meanwhile, in another crummy part of Demeter City, Took and Castle are amusing themselves while staking out Dr. Kyte’s address.

Kyte emerges and immediately spots the whacking great police cruiser parked right in front of him. He legs it, obviously. This is a rare instance of outdoor filming. It was attempted fairly unsuccessfully during Flash and Double Duty when the summer daylight failed to match the interior lighting of the studio. But now we’re filming in late October, so the darkness is more forgiving.

Castle offers to “take the back.” I’m reminded of the fact that Haldane complained about always having to take the back in Protect and Survive. So, perhaps if Castle is more keen on taking the back than Haldane they can come to some sort of back-taking arrangement… that’d be nice.

Took calls for assistance while Castle follows Kyte up the back alley.

The real fire escape in between Pinewood’s L & M stages was used to film this scene. That’s why it looks nothing like the rest of Demeter City. Castle runs up the stairs and discovers the Tarn egg incubator that Kyte was carrying, complete with the missing Tarn egg sac inside. Well, that’s certainly a result.

He’s behind you!

“I’ll take that!” declares Kyte, briefly dropping his American accent.

Space Precinct stunt co-ordinator Glenn Marks pulls off another magnificent moment as he doubles for Simone Bendix and tumbles off the fire escape.

Took reaches out with her telekinetic powers but it all happens too quickly. Cor, this has taken a dramatic turn!

Castle laying flat out on the concrete is certainly a haunting image. At least someone on the production team used restraint and didn’t opt for pouring buckets and buckets of blood all over the place. At least some lessons have been learned since Double Duty.

Instead of rushing Castle to one of Demeter’s many, many hospitals, she’s rushed back to the station house where the forensic technician is doubling as a doctor.

Castle only suffered a mild concussion… which is a bit of a bloomin’ miracle considering she fell two stories onto concrete and landed on her back. Took’s power must have made a difference. As part of routine procedure, a backup copy of Castle’s thought patterns are being restored using a device called a cortex cradle. If all this so-called “routine” is sounding new to you, it’s because it is. However, if the idea of backing up thought patterns is sounding a little more familiar, that’s because this is a Gerry Anderson series and Joe 90 was a thing. The earlier Space Precinct episode, The Power, also demonstrated that the digital storage of brain patterns was possible – though the idea was considered novel at the time and certainly not DCPD routine. Maybe the cortex cradle we’re seeing now was developed based on the alien technology borrowed by Sylvain in that episode… but that seems a bit unlikely.

On a screen which looks suspiciously like a microwave oven, some earlier scenes play out from Castle’s point of view. Kyte has regained his American accent for this particular take of “I’ll take that!”

A brand new “memory” plays out, with Haldane admitting to Castle he’s been a jerk and promising to change. Haldane scoffs and reports that this is obviously a work of fiction wished up by a deranged victim of a concussion. Castle speaks up and confirms as such. I guess that means she’s okay.

Back to the plot and smarty pants Brogan has had a brainwave of his own! He asks whether the cortex cradle could transfer a mind from one person into another. Again, this is all just Joe 90 stuff but with a few of the words used. The forensic who’s posing as a neurosurgeon for the day suggests that two minds in one brain “makes for suicides and heavy metal bands.” Oh he’s such a comedian. Brogan then asks whether a mind could be transferred into an empty clone brain. Well I wonder what he’s getting at…

Brogan and Haldane get to work while the camera does some gorgeous tracking around these fetching desk lamps. Of course, the suspended officers shouldn’t be getting to work at all, but gosh darn it they just can’t help themselves. Like the incubator sales earlier, the lads soon find Dr. Kyte’s place of business on a list of everyone who’s bought a cortex cradle. Brogan’s determined to rescue the stolen Tarn baby regardless of his current employment status, but they’re going to need a little help making sure they’re doing it right…

Apparently Slomo’s the most easily manipulated (and frankly the most useful) member of the DCPD team, so he’s getting dragged along to save the day. “Uh-oh!” he says. Gotta love that little guy.

Rather than a police cruiser, they take Brogan’s hopper down to the city. Of course, Brogan, Haldane, and Slomo would never in a million years be able to squeeze inside that tiny little car, so we don’t actually see them in there. Instead we just hear the voice of Slomo complaining about the unorthodox travel arrangements.

In Vinny’s medical chamber, they’re working on growing another clone from the Tarn egg sac. Dr. Kyte has a machine called the ‘Ova-Scan’ which looks like it fell off the back of a truck. Vinny has decided that this new clone will be walking around at the same time he is, so that the world can have two Vinnys at once. Obviously that’s a horrific concept for the world, but I’m not so sure Vinny would actually enjoy that very much either. He doesn’t seem like the sort of person who’d be good at sharing.

Dr. Kyte says they need to update the digital recording of Vinny’s mind, presumably because he’s learned ever so much in the last couple of days – how to count to ten, the lyrics to Boom Bang a Bang, the recipe for the perfect goulash, that sort of thing. Vinny elects to pass the time by trimming his nails with that handy little laser. In my opinion, anyone who trims their nails in public – laser or no laser – should be arrested. Nobody wants to see that.

Meanwhile, Slomo is outside doing what he does best – plugging himself into things and reeling off a load of technobabble. Why you would keep an access panel to your penthouse’s entire computer system on the outside of the apartment for any idiot to hack into, I don’t know. Slomo gains access to the cortex cradle…

One slight hiccup there. Because Vinny is currently uploading to the cortex cradle while Slomo is trying to download from it, the two become linked. Vinny isn’t best pleased to see Officer Haldane staring straight back at him on the screen. In fact he immediately runs outside and orders Kyte to destroy the egg. Talk about losing your temper. Imagine if I turned around to you and said, “Hey, I’ve seen someone I don’t like so now you have to kill that baby.” You’d think I was over-reacting wouldn’t you?

Brogan realises they’re now in an even deeper pile o’ manure and that they need to get inside and rescue the egg rather quickly. Ordinarily they would use the traditional method of getting through the door by blasting the flip out of it, but Slomo can do it rather more elegantly by unlocking it electronically.

Vinny’s security guy is about as useless as you’d expect and Haldane makes quick work of knocking out the sleeping buffoon.

Slomo opens the door to the medical chamber at exactly the right moment because he’s just so handy like that. Kyte is getting ready to atomize the egg because he’s an absolute scumbag. Haldane protests.

Vacua shoots Dr. Kyte because the one thing she won’t stand for is atomizing babies. Yes, apparently THIS was the final straw for her.

Haldane learns very quickly how to turn off an atomizer and saves the egg. Vacua guesses that Vinny has escaped to his campaign headquarters. It’s not over yet, folks!

Vinny’s car lands on the roof and the TV crew just happen to be hanging around waiting for him. The camera operator is actually asleep. Poor guy’s been working too hard.

A great big sign on the wall indicates that these stairs lead to the roof top parking, which I guess explains why Vinny’s body was dragged out the front door of the building at the beginning of the episode. Vinny declines the opportunity for an interview because Brogan, Haldane, and Slomo are just a few seconds behind him.

Vinny orders Regina to lock the doors. Regina orders some guy in the background to lock the doors. The guy from the background locks the doors. I’m sure that was the most efficient way of doing that.

Right then, I was wondering when we’d encounter this particular problem. How does Slomo get up and down stairs? He obviously can manage it in one form or another because he’s already made it halfway down from the roof top parking. But the rest of those steps? Nah, he’s not gonna bother. I assume the character has some kind of hovering capability to tackle this sort of thing. However the Slomo prop sure as heck doesn’t, so he’s just left on his own at the top of the steps for the rest of time.

Brogan has another brainwave involving the live TV camera. He’s just full of ideas, isn’t he?

Vinny’s gang of colourful supporters gather to hear the latest spin. He claims that the police planted the egg to try and frame him. They buy it, and the supporting artists offer a range of silent reactions ranging from abject horror to mild discomfort.

The graphics team for Demeter City News are definitely still living in the 1990s.

Despite having the doors locked so the cops couldn’t get in, Vinny immediately allows the doors to be unlocked… to let the cops in.

Without their badges, Brogan tries to make a citizen’s arrest. Regina throws it straight back and says she’s going to make her own citizen’s arrest. Anyone else got a citizen’s arrest they want to make today? The guy in the back should probably arrest his hairdresser.

Because Slomo can’t or won’t get down the stairs, the camera operator has to wait outside to do his thing. Slomo is hooked up and ready to broadcast some material from Vinny’s cortex cradle. Hopefully it’s all safe for work… it’s Space Precinct so you never know.

Vinny assaulting his girlfriend, murdering his own assassin, and ordering the destruction of the Tarn egg are all broadcast to the masses.

The mood turns immediately. The supporters get restless, but it’s Regina who really gets upset. She yanks off that thing around Vinny’s neck which apparently held some significance but we never found out exactly what. She retrieves Vinny’s laser knife and Brogan puts up the bare minimum amount of resistance to prevent her from killing the guy.

Turns out she just really wanted to make a point by slashing an indistinguishable ‘X’ into his clothes. That’s one of those moments that probably sounded better in the script than it ever would have looked on-screen.

With an eclectic range of weapons at the ready, Vinny’s volunteers turn into an angry mob. Apparently seeing those three incidents broadcast on the news was enough to change their entire outlook on Vinny Artak. Remember when people could believe what they saw on the news, or were willing to believe what they saw on the news? What a quaint time capsule this episode is turning out to be.

While the crowd attacks, Brogan takes some time to playfully weigh up the ethics and legality surrounding Vinny’s status as a clone of someone who is already officially dead. We all know the lads are going to step in and do the right thing so let’s just allow them a moment to be smug.

Sure enough, Brogan jumps in and stops a gentleman from punching Vinny’s face into next Tuesday. Vinny throws himself on the mercy of police custody and admits there are plenty of things he can be accused of when the trial comes around. And so, Vinny is back under the protection of Brogan and Haldane. His political career appears to be over. Because who would vote for a suspected, or even a convicted criminal, right?

Apart from hating on the police, very few of Vinny’s political opinions actually came to the forefront in this episode. I’d be fascinated to hear his definition of pride.

The Brogan family are gathered watching the news, with Patrick back in his uniform where he belongs. It looks like Regina Baylek is going to be the new Pride Party candidate for city council. If we knew next to nothing about Vinny’s political stance, we know even less about Regina’s. However, Sally believes she’s honest, smart, and dedicated… which is an odd conclusion to reach considering Regina’s been supporting Vinny for most of the episode. One would hardly say she’s a good judge of character. Then Patrick pipes up and jokes that she also happens to be pretty. Oh, what larks.

Haldane calls up, summoning his partner to make all speed to Demeter Memorial Hospital. Does Jack ever get to go home?

Now this is cute. Like a well-oiled machine, Patrick’s family hand him back his gun, jacket, and multi-com. Liz waves him off with a totally vacant expression, like she’s never seen this man before in her life. Sally nods like a military general. Matt strikes a pose. All very International Rescue.

Brogan rushes to the hospital where his colleagues are waiting for him. Castle and Took laugh and joke while Haldane paces. But what’s going on? What’s the big to-do? I’m loving that this episode has one more surprise for us…

The gang gather at the window because it’s time to watch that baby Tarn punch its way out of its egg sac! Don’t worry, it’s not too gross.

The distraught mother and father from earlier couldn’t be happier now that they have their bundle of joy. Okay, it’s not the prettiest bundle of joy in the world, but I’m sure by Tarn standards it’s a cute little critter. The new mum beckons the cops to come and join the celebration.

Brogan, the family man, takes the little baby and Ted Shackelford gives the performance of his life trying to make it look real and adorable.

Mum credits the 88th for saving her baby. It’s so darn wholesome.

Smiles all around. I think this soppy ending has been well-earned. If you disagree then you hate children.

And how could you hate that ugly blue child?

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I wasn’t sure what to make of Divided We Stand on first viewing. I felt like I’d been bombarded with so much stuff that it wasn’t necessarily the easiest viewing experience. A gentler pace or removing one or two elements might have made it easier to watch. But after breaking it down in detail, I have to say I’m impressed by everything it achieves. The way the Vinny Artak plot and the Tarn egg sac plot are woven together is really quite clever, and certainly beyond the capabilities of a typical Space Precinct script. The pivots from politics to baby-snatching to cloning are all handled pretty well. The mystery at the core of the story keeps you guessing and doesn’t ease up. David Quilter’s performance as Vinny makes for a memorable guest character, although I can’t say the other guest roles were up to the same standard. Brogan and Haldane have great arcs through this story as they roll with the punches, while Castle and Took play strong supporting roles.

All the way through this review I’ve alluded to the uncanny way in which Divided We Stand reflects current events, despite being written 30 years ago. In that regard, I suppose I have to praise this episode for not feeling quite so dated as other Space Precinct installments. Sure, some of the effects and design work might firmly root Space Precinct in the 1990s, but it’s refreshing to see that in some ways there are elements that can still feel relevant today. Let’s just hope that next time it won’t be for all the wrong reasons.